We said “goodbye for now” to Mom a few hours ago, and are now sitting at Richmond International Airport (I still want to call it “Byrd Field”) awaiting our flight to JFK and thence to SJC.

When we left, Mom was breathing well and it was clear that she knew what was going on — I know that she wants us to get on with our lives, but I still felt torn about leaving.

I’m confused.

Yesterday, we thought that Mom’s kidneys had shut down, since she’d produced no urine all day. But overnight, she started to complain, and eventually (I wasn’t here) they discovered a problem in the catheter; when they fixed that, she put out a full day’s worth of urine in one go (so to speak) and she’s been fine in that respect ever since. She’s sleeping comfortably now.

So as far as anyone can tell, there’s no reason for us to be on 24/7 vigil at her bedside — and so I’m thinking of going back to California for a while.

When this all started last week, Mom told us not to come out — but then her condition got worse, and we flew to Richmond, and I’m glad we did, because we all got to spend time with her while she was able to talk with us. She isn’t talking any more, but she knows when she has company and seems to enjoy us — but I also wonder if all the attention is tiring her out and whether she’d like some privacy (she has always told people not to visit her in the hospital).

So, as I said, I’m confused. As of this instant, I’m leaning towards flying today along with Diane and Jeff, and have bought a ticket — but I’m not happy with either alternative.

I wish someone would invent teleportation.