Mom Update #2

I didn’t spend the night at the hospital after all — my niece offered to stay so that I could go back to the house and sleep in a real bed.

I’ve been back here since about 10:30am — they’d given Mom’s some Atavin just before 10, and so Mom’s been sleeping pretty well since I arrived. I’m going to make a quick trip back to the house to pick up Diane and Jeff, and if I’m lucky, Mom will be more awake when we return.

Thanks for your support

I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank everyone who’s commented, e-mailed, or phoned to express your support, prayers, and love for Mom. I’m passing along the messages.

Mom Update #1

We enjoyed JetBlue’s “ShutEye” service from SJC-JFK (the skycap at San Jose got us seats together instead of being scattered in middle seats all over the plane — but the seats were at the front bulkhead, which meant there was light and noise from the crew, so we had more redeye than shuteye), followed by a quick hop to Richmond; we were at the hospital by 10:30am.

Mom was awake and she was happy to see us (and we were happy to see her!) — all of us spent some time with her before her energy sagged and she fell asleep. We took that as our cue to go to my brother’s house and change, then I came back to the hospital so my brother could get away. Mom was still napping lightly, but a few minutes later, one of my nieces came in, wearing heels. The “tick-tick-tick” was enough to wake Mom somewhat — and a few minutes later, we administered a miracle drug which woke her completely: some of an Edy’s Strawberry Whole Fruit Bar. As the nutritional analysis shows, it’s loaded with energy…and so was Mom!

A few minutes later, my older niece stopped by on her way to work — her timing was great with respect to Mom’s energy level, and they had a good conversation, some of which brought back memories for me, too (especially of a song Mom sang to my brother and me when we were young, and then she inflicted it on the grandchildren, too!). But then the nurse came in and gave Mom some medication, and now she’s asleep again.

My younger niece and I are still here — she’s going to stay through dinner, and then I plan to be here all night (with both of us sleeping, I hope). I doubt I’ll write another update tonight — this one has taken me two hours (hospitals are busy places!).

My most faithful reader

Ever since I’ve started blogging, I’ve had one reader who I could count on to read every entry, to comment occasionally, and even to gently nudge me if I didn’t blog for a long time. I am referring, of course, to my Mom.

But I’m afraid (in more than one sense of the word) that I’m going to lose her very soon, and that’s why we’re sitting at SJC waiting to board a flight to take us back to Richmond.

All was well three weeks ago; then she started to suffer shortness of breath — enough that she went to the doctor, who diagnosed her as having pneumonia and recommended that she be admitted to the hospital for tests. They found the problem: lung cancer. The pulmonary specialist who made the diagnosis told her the prognosis very bluntly and then went on his merry way. That was Friday, April 4, as I was flying home from my trip to the IBM Research Spring Strategy Session.

On the 5th, we flew to Valley Stream for a long-scheduled trip including a few days in Richmond. Mom was back in her apartment and seemed to be doing well — until the night before we went to Richmond. She fell that night and couldn’t get up — but she was able to call my brother and sister-in-law, who were able to help her. And she arranged to have help during the day.

We arrived on the 11th and had a nice visit. We knew about the cancer, but we all tried not to let it dominate our time — and so we visited the University of Richmond, went to ComedySportz, and continued on to Washington on Saturday, as scheduled. I could tell that she was a bit weaker than before, but things didn’t seem dire.

Tuesday night, we flew home. I spent Wednesday at home working (clearing 500 pieces of mail can be done as easily at home as in the office!), and all was fine. Until about 4:30pm, when my brother called me — Mom had had problems the night before, and had fallen in the bathroom and hit her head. She wears a ADT pendant, which she pressed — they called 911 and then my brother. She didn’t want to go to the hospital, and seemed to be holding her own, so he stayed with her.

About 7pm (Pacific), my brother called again. Mom was complaining of being terribly cold, so they were going to the hospital. Later on, he said she was unconscious and not expected to live through the night, so we booked tickets for the 6:30am flight and spent most of the rest of the night packing. We got a couple of hours of sleep (which was probably more than he and his wife managed), woke up at 3:15, and were in a taxi at 4:45, en route to the airport.

Just as we turned into the airport, my phone rang. It was my brother, with the welcome news that Mom had had a transfusion, had strengthened, was talking, and didn’t want us to come out. I didn’t believe it until she told me herself — then we had the taxi take us home and went back to sleep. It was the best trip to nowhere I’d ever had.

We woke around 9 and went to work. I was telling my manager about the story when my phone rang — it was my brother, with bad news again. Mom was bleeding and the prognosis was unclear. I kept working, but started investigating flight alternatives.

The phone calls kept coming, and the news got grimmer with each one. So I booked tickets (again), and here we are.

Jeff and I were able to talk to Mom for a minute or so this evening, and each of us told her how much she means to us. She was able to respond, and my brother told me she was smiling.

I told her how much I loved her, and how she had not only taught me to be a mensch, but that she was a wonderful example of one.

If a miracle happens and you’re able to read this, Mom, I know you’ll be embarrassed. And I don’t care. I love you.

And home again

It’s been wonderful not having to set an alarm, although we might have done better this morning if we had set one. Despite that, we still had enough time to have breakfast at Open City before dashing to the National Zoo for a quick cache hunt (we’d also hoped to see the Bat Cave, which Jeff had really enjoyed when we last visited about twelve years ago, but it’s permanently closed).

After that, we made a quick foray to Bombe Chest, the consignment shop of the Jewish Social Service Agency of Metropolitan Washington — Diane had seen a Lenox Seder Plate like the one we’d lost in the Loma Prieta earthquake in their window when we arrived Saturday night; of course, the shop was closed then. This morning, the plate was gone from the window, but only because they’d put away their Passover items, so Diane bought it and we hauled it home with us. Then back to Open City to get dinner for the plane, off to Dulles, and home (via Long Beach).

We managed to watch most of the last two episodes of The Next Food Network Star on the plane, so it’s time to decide: Reggie or Guy.

But even more importantly, it’s time to call it a night. So I will.